So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
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