Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
