as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
