Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
Randomize
