trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
