I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
