I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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