Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
