He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
