i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
