Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
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