that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
