i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
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