There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
