Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
You made out with two different species that night
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
