I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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