i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
