you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
