Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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