I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
