he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
