Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
