I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
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