Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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