I think im going to throw up on grandma
They should really pass out barf bags in church
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
