Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
