So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
