Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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