I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
