I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
