I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
