Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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