how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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