THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
