the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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