If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
