there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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