OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize