I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Randomize
