WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Randomize
