You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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