is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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