You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
