Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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