I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
