Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
