so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
how drunk are you?
Several
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
