you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
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