I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
