Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
